fill in the blank friday

Wait! It's not Friday...oh, eff. Whatever. I'm still posting :)

Oh lawdy, last week was a long one. We are on the verge of finishing up a site this week at work and it's been a completely different layout and semi-responsive. It's been quite a challenge but I'm toughing through it and working on my patience like a boss. I'm almost there!

The good news is, I had a double workout Friday AND made it to class Saturday morning! Friday, I went to the 5:30pm express Jazzercise class, which is a half hour class of just cardio and then met up with my friend at Better Bodies for a random workout. They don't have classes on Friday in the evening so we just did a half hour on the elliptical and a half on the bikes.

Albeit, the work challenge, I felt great last week. I've made my workouts every day and powered through the weekend as well. My mom is sick, however. I went over to my parent's house and I'm slightly concerned about the germs making their way around the area. Just need to be sure to get sleep and take care of myself with all the working out.

Smothering my baby girl, Suki.

Here are my fills...

1. My favourite place I have visited (or would like to visit) in the US is New York City. What I love most about it is  it feels like I'm not alone. There are SO many people there and I don't feel like I have to compete as much. Mostly because everyone is so different and that's accepted there. There are so many opportunities and lots of things to do, places to eat, etc. I have friends that live there and I'll be visiting next year. Can't wait!

2. My favourite place I have visited (or would like to visit) in Europe is anywhere. What I love most about it is  I wouldn't even know! I've never been overseas. I suppose question #1's answer should've been somewhere overseas but I was thinking realistically. Silly me!

3. My favourite movie (location wise) set in the US is from Lord of the Rings because How can you even ask why???

4. My favourite movie (location wise) set in Europe is Wouldn't even know?! I can't think of one but where I got these questions, she mentioned "Only You"...I'll have to watch.

5. My favourite band/musician from the US is currently Nine Inch Nails/Trent Reznor. Always.

6. My favourite band/musician from Europe is currently Again, I don't even know. I'm horrible knowing where bands/musicians are from. I've only started learning and just if I'm really interested.

7. I love where I live in Omaha, NE because It's a pretty chill place if you want it to be...or, you can go crazy too. But, mostly because of my family and a select few friends who care a great deal about me.

I'll create an updated post on how my "New Year's Resolutions" are going.

Lots of <3

eff the new year

It's real – it's officially December. How did that happened, who knows!? All I know is, it doesn't matter that the year is ending and I shouldn't have to wait until January 1st to get things rolling. No better time than now to make improvements in your life. Everyone has stuff they want to do and you can project those things to do, however, majority of them don't get done. We all procrastinate. Might I suggest making a yearly projection, but then taking out 2-3 items you want to do now. Set up reminders for yourself to review the rest of your list at a later date. I know I overwhelm myself, everyday and best practice is to focus on the "now". Get started!

{ -- my bug, Eddie, getting all up in the static with the dry, winter air -- }

There are quite a few items on my list that have been making me itch like crazy and it's time to scratch...sorry, BAD pun! Why wait? Just proves that you probably can't make it happen if you're willing to wait for it to happen. A few items on my list are below, in no particular order.

• Minimum of 30 minutes of exercise each day. Doesn't need to be extreme. I have a treadmill and I should be using it more than one day a week. I have no excuse. I am single, don't have kids and no other priorities (DVR is NOT a priority!!!).
• Move stuff around in the house everyday; either get it closer to where it belongs or put it away entirely.
• Clean up dishes after cooking and before eating...I let that shit sit so long until I don't even want to be near it at all.

{ -- taken from TV, kudos to those who know -- }

These are immediate needs for me right now because my life is a bit cluttered and unstructured. I like to let go of things to easily and it's making, not only a mess in my house but, a mess in my head. I'm tired of throwing pathetic hissy fits that I don't want to put away or clean because it'll just get messy again. I think of having people over, or if I do meet someone...just how embarrassing that'll look!!! I want to look better than that and I am better than that.

I will come back and report on how my "to-do's" are doing. Have you got a list? Do you even care??

Lots of <3

finishing a book

Every Sunday I meet my mom for coffee and reading. I look forward to it every week. We catch up and typically will share a warmed up cinnamon scone. I will pick up the same book I've been reading, pick up where I left off and end up finishing quite a few without having to buy :)

I just got done reading this book today, Where We Belong. Don't you just love finishing a good book, or just finishing one in general. I start so many and it usually takes me so long to finish one because I go back and forth between all of them.

I'd probably give this one an 8.5 out of 10. I'm not actually sure why I even was interested in reading it because I have nothing in common with the characters and couldn't relate much at all. I mostly picked it up because I'd read other books by the same author and enjoyed them. This one was her most recent, sitting on the shelves in the front of the store, so I just automatically picked it up. Here is a link to read what the story is about ›› click here!

Anyway, her books are super easy to read and get carried away in. They're mostly chick stories and all about love crap but that's okay to get hooked on, right?? I live vicariously thru chick flicks and these kinds of books. I'm not a romance novel girl, I like the stories that could/might actually be real. There was a section in the book that I particularly liked...

"There will be plenty of time to sort that out later. Time to see where the current takes me. // It is not what I planned–this day, this moment, these unlikely relationships, both old and new. Yet I feel overcome with peace and certainty that, for once, I am exactly where I should be."

That rang true for me and really is a great way to place things.

Lots of <3

fill in the blank friday and eye candy

The other night, Wednesday, I took a quick trip in the evening to Lincoln to attend a hardcore show. The headlining band was actually supposed to be Suicide Silence but Mitch, the lead singer, recently passed away from crashing his bike into a light pole. *sigh* So, the line up went on to be The Matador, Narcotic Self, Memphis May Fire and ending with As I Lay Dying. It was an incredible show and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to go. I met up with a few old friends and even met some new friends near the end of the night. One of them being a completely tattooed covered boy who bought me a veggie falafel :) I am living the life. It is good.

I stuck around after the show in hopes to get a photo to remember the night. Memphis May Fire, the band I originally (along with Suicide Silence) was going to see was no where to be seen. Lame. Their set was one for wanting more. It was so cookie cutter and his screaming became bored. Especially after As I Lay Dying played...they wiped the floor with Mattie's skinny hipster jeans, Woody Allen black rimmed glasses and Toms. Gimme a break!

{ -- me with lead singer, Tim Lambesis, from As I Lay Dying -- }

1.  "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is..."   saying thanks. I know you're supposed to do that on Thanksgiving and I have expressed thanks but I think it needs to continue   .

2.  The holiday season is  okay. I enjoy it and I don't find it super stressful. I really just look forward to having days off work and relaxing    .

3.  When it comes to holiday decorating...     I don't do anything. Anytime I see cute decorations, I think about where else that money could go on more important things, like food for my dogs...or me   .

4. The thing I look forward to most about the holidays is   I mentioned this earlier but time off from work and relaxing. Not thinking about it. Work isn't that stressful but it's nice to get away  .

5. My favorite holiday tradition is  that we take ALL morning to open up presents. This year may be different tho as we're all under budgets. Times have gotten a bit harder. Will be more grateful for being around those who love me .

6. This year my Christmas plans include  going to my Grandma's house, like the family does every year. Small group of us. I plan to do a lot of reading and just laying around  .

7.  My favorite holiday food is  usually the turkey but for Thanksgiving my dad made an awesome dressing, I'm hoping he makes it again. I may just have to put in a request  .

Lots of <3

pick me up!

Alright, Monday...I mean, uhm, Tuesday, let's do this.

I had an awesomely long weekend because of the Holiday (1) and because I work at a stellar company, we had Friday after Thanksgiving off. I spent the end of the week with the family, which is sometimes a challenge but went smooth this year. Food was good and I got a lot of reading done (2).

I did get one workout in but, majority of the time I relaxed (3). It felt good to have a long time off from work and 'having' to do things. I'm naturally unmotivated and can be super lazy...but, it feels so good and I deserved it this weekend.

I did do something I'm not entirely proud of. I berated a "friend", contemplated my decisions I made by doing this and accepted what has happened and feel better about it (4). I hit a huge milestone with this. We'll just say, I feel so much better about myself knowing this person than I did before. I had said some hurtful things out of frustration and in-the-moment emotions but I don't regret it. It makes me super crazy when people just don't care about other people after they've done something that meant a lot to them. I know I would not have treated the situation the same way and would have been more accommodating than he and it's just unfortunate how his ego got so carried away — he didn't acknowledge or accept that he'd let someone down. He really didn't care. I digress on that matter. I can't say I didn't try tho.

I made badass southwest black bean soup (5) and I have so many leftovers. I'm eating it for dinner tonight and can't wait!

Lots of <3

monday pick me up

Mondays are hard, no doubt — but I also feel like it's another start. Another "go" at a new week. In a way, we get to start over everyday because what's happened the day before, we can't take back but since Mondays are...well, Mondays, this is the day I am choosing to deal with this challenge. Here, on Mondays, will be my attempt at finding things I'm grateful for that happened over the weekend. Here I go...

{ -- my little booger the day I took him home -- }

1. Eddie went to the spa. He was a HOT mess! So, it's nice to have a cleaned up puppy to snuggle with. Also, today is his birthday. He's two!
2. Friday night I went out with a couple girl friends to dinner and a movie. We saw the last Twilight installment :) It was so fun to see them and the horribly, terrific movie.
3. Saturday was the last NE Husker home game (last one is the day after Thanksgiving, away) and I went with my dad, my grandma and a good friend. Was cold but fun. I love going to the games.
4. Not having to work. It's been several years since I've held a job where I had to work the weekend. I'm very lucky to be in a full-time gig where I don't have to do weekend work anymore.
5. Naps! After taking Eddie in for his spa appointment, I took a long nap and it felt great :)

Hope your Monday is going well and you have things to be grateful for!

Lots of <3

going cray

Texting is a dangerous game. A dirty game and I hate it! Everything can get so misunderstood and that's exactly what happened to me a week ago. I digress, I am moving forward. Some things just aren't in your control. I can't call because they won't answer to hear what I even have to say. So, I am now the crazy girl :)

I haven't done this in a while...and, I miss it. So, here goes "Fill in the Blank Friday"!

1.  My best quality is   recognizing my faults, admitting to being stupid, "crazy", etc. and continually working on myself   .

2.  One of my less flattering qualities is  I can get super down, depressed and angry very easily    .

3.  I'd rather be    in my PJs, on the couch, snuggling with my puppies watching a movie   .

4. Something I have been challenged with lately is   getting along with my sister  .

5. I am looking forward to  a short work week next with with Thanksgiving  .

6. A super random factoid about me is  I have to do things in twos. I do this with my CSS and in my car with my stereo. It has to be an even number  .

7.  I want to  be loved and be happy  .

Nothing is ever easy and we always tend to overcomplicate everything. Emotions get involved and we overreact. The good in all of that, is that time keeps moving and we move on. Only reflecting and learning from our experiences. Always a work in progress.

Lots of <3

my first time

Last week, I took an impromptu vacation to California, for the first time, to visit my new friend, Anthony. I was scared, nervous, excited and had no expectations. But, I figured, what is there to lose? And, what a story! I needed something to do!!! My parents, I could tell, were freaking but I needed someone to watch the puppies and transportation to and from the airport. They accepted, after the tickets were already bought...so not much choice. Ha!

I've never been to California and I didn't really expect to do a lot of touristy stuff. I really just wanted to get away from home, my normal life and to hang out with my friend. I was there for only 3 days and 3 nights. I stayed at his house with his two roommates and 2 pit bulls. Since the World Series was in town, we didn't do a lot of driving around or near San Francisco, he lives near Oakland, so we just bummed around. Which, I don't mind at all!

I hope to go back and visit again soon, but for now...I'll hold onto the memories :)

Hope to see you soon California :)

Lots of <3

never be forgotten

A couple weeks, I had one of the most memorable moments of my life. I wish I could relive that moment, over and over and over and over...

I go to a lot of shows. Mostly hardcore shows. There's something about the energy at those shows, that helps liven me back up. It's like getting a fix and I am most comfortable in those shows. This show, I bought a ticket for over a month in advance. Probably not necessary, they don't sell out their shows but they do put on a good one. I'd seen them already twice before over the past year and would no doubt see every show that follows, in my city.

{ -- unfortunate first photo with him and my crazy, fucking ex -- }

Already started out being a "different" night because this kid was going around grabbing boobs...including mine! Immediately told my bartender friend and he got kicked out. But, not without a fight. Along with that, a friend I used to room with was there, from several years ago. We caught up and I hope to catch up with her over some coffee someday soon.

Show had already started when I got there, the band I wanted to see was headlining so I had plenty of time. Standing in the back, second to last band on stage, I looked over around at the crowd and back at the bar. Lo and behold, my crush (lead singer) was standing at the bar watching his ball team play (how cute). I've always had my photo taken with him but had no one with me this show and no one around to take the photo. I still went up to him, "Can I have a hug?" WHAT?! I asked him for a hug?? He followed through with the lamest hug I've ever received but I didn't care...I got one. He began to talk to me...?? We talked for a small bit as he had to go warm up. Before he left though, he asked if I wanted to hang out after the show. Uhm, yes please!

{ -- second show I saw...much better photo -- }

-- Amazing show ensued. --

We walked outside after they were done packing up gear, I got my car and he got in mine to follow their van to the hotel they were staying at. He was IN MY CAR! We parked and then sat for quite a while...until I absolutely had to use the restroom. So, we went in their room, I did my thing and then we left. Walking through the hallways we talked, I then asked for a piece of gum (I am so needy!). At this time, it was so late and I was totally getting stank breath :D He had some but in their van. So, we walked outside to their van and ended up sitting in there and talked until two members of his crew came out at different times, the last to sleep in the van. I suggested we could move to my car and he agreed....SO, we continued to chat in my car...until almost 5am! At one point, I'd paused talking, looked at him and completely forgot who I had been talking to.

Long post but, I want to remember it. I don't care if he was lying, doesn't like me, nothing will ever happen, etc. but it was just a great moment to have.

We've been texting ever since...but, then who knows how many other girls he's been texting 'ever since'. ;)

**UPDATE: I went to see him in California, his home town, just this week. I'll create another post to talk about!

Lots of <3

sick, sickly

I have been sick, sick, sick! I don't even remember what I posted last but here we go again. I'm gonna make this one short and sweet. I had the most exhausting weekend with a head cold BUT, I got to see Static-X with my awesome sister and we had a blast! I'll have to post some pictures we took, most came out blurry but I did have some videos as well. I'll have to review :) Otherwise, here are a few things I am grateful for today:

1. DayQuil, well...the Walgreen's brand :)
2. NyQuil, again, Walgreen's brand but I am in lurve.
3. Forgiveness. I have a very forgiving job, that is very flexible and understanding.
4. Revelations, followed by acceptance. Two qualities I am fully possessing these days and let me tell you, it is freeing!
5. Non-stop learning. I realize most days it can be exhausting but without it, I wouldn't grow and I'd feel like a lazy bum if I didn't.

What are you grateful for today? If anyone is out there...

Lots of <3

a move worth mentioning

I made it! I am officially in my house and it's so, SO unreal but incredibly awesome and I could not be more proud of myself at this very moment. I need to remember this moment. So, here we are. Eddie, Suki and I in a house. It's pretty awesome. Move-in ready but I have so many things I want to update and I think it's going to be so fun.

Work is going great. We hired someone new who I'm teaching and mentoring. He started today and is super nice and willing to learn. I just hope he knows what he's in for :)

My birthday was yesterday, I turned an age no one wants to ever turn but, it's all good. I've got a lot to be grateful for and am every day.

Slowly and surely I am getting everything unpacked, a few things left to do at the apartment and then I can really settle in. I've got a great office already set up, fridge and treadmill are coming Thursday...life is good. Life is really good.

I'll post pictures soon!

Lots of <3

i did it! i SO did it!

Today was a gloooorious day. I got up bright and early, feeling good and set out in my workout gear for my parents. Picked up a good friend and set out for Louisville, NE, about a 45 minute drive. Why?? Today was my wave for THE WARRIOR DASH at 10:30am! I have to tell you, I've never signed up for a run of any kind, not even a flat out run so this, was a big step for me to have The Warrior Dash be my first. I was so anxious to get started; waiting to go was probably the worst part! I wasn't scared but I was just really ready to go, get it done and upon finishing, I felt like I could keep going.

{ -- badge of honor -- }

The Warrior Dash is a 5k run, with TONS of obstacles in the way; climbing walls (there were FOUR on our run!), jumping over fire, going through rope nets, a crick and crawling through mud. Obviously, you're not required to do every obstacle, as some would try and give up BUT, I did every one of them and I'm so glad I did. I'd have so much regret had I not made it through them. It was SO much fun and I plan to do again next year. I really thought it would be such a struggle but I felt so good throughout the whole thing. I am so proud of myself and I'm glad I did it. I DID IT!!!

{ -- me with the ladies after our finish...completely covered in MUD! -- }

{ -- my white (?!) socks and shoes (donated) aftermath -- }

Lots of <3

a breather

{ -- lunch break, potle bound! -- }

I'd be lying if I said things were super great right now, but they're not all that bad. It's all about how to handle everything and realize that it'll pass. "This isn't meant to last. This is for right now." It's going to be OK and what I'm stressing about is so little compared to what could be. Ever wonder why it is we get SO caught up in such moments that are so trivial? Ever take a step back and analyze the situation? I try to, all the time. It usually does wonders and helps me realize the truth. It's certainly, probably, saved my life in the last year. I've made some of the best decisions for myself in the last year and I'm thankful for being able to take a breath and step back from it all.

{ -- my girl, napping in the sun -- }

My current woes; I am SO busy at work and there's a lot of pressure but there's no point in getting emotional about it or getting upset about it. I just hunker down and plug away. I'm doing my best and if my best isn't good enough, it wasn't meant to be. I can only be my best me. Also, my gal pal, Suki hasn't been feeling good. I think she's just got an overly sensitive stomach. I just feel so bad for her sometimes. I wake up to her growling tummy and wimpers to get outside and eat some grass. It'll pass but I just wish sooner than later and that it wouldn't ever come back.

~

Ooookay, I feel better now and am totally looking forward to this summer. There's so much going on. A few concerts here and there, some weddings, moving...I'm looking forward to all of it and whatever else this year brings me. Bring it on!

Lots of <3

yummeeness: planning, planning fooooood

{ -- a new staple, tofu w/seasoning for tofu/bean tacos -- }

A huge challenge I face is knowing what I'm going to have for dinner. Lunch, for me, is super easy. I either throw a Lean Cuisine in the microwave (obviously not ideal but being single, not a lot of time...it's nice to have just in case and I'm still NOT eating out) or if I go home, I make some eggs and toast. My lunch when I go home has to be quick— like, 20 minutes-cook-eat-clean quick. I'm lucky to work at a company where I don't have to 'clock in' so it's somewhat flexible when it comes to timing, however, I'm usually busy and it's not always good to take 2 hour lunches...even tho I could, and have.

This morning, I came across this blog post from a favorite blogger and my jaw dropped! I LOVE this organizing stuff and typically will get half-way there with my own things before I give up or realize how crazy I must look. This though, this...I'm super impressed and hope to get close to that organized, especially when I get my house (oh! Did I just say that?? ...)

I think the closest I've came to organizing meals is just in front of one week. It changed mid-week and I moved a couple things around because I would end up having more leftovers and would need to eat those before I moved on to new food or a new recipe but overall it was super helpful. Anymore when my grocery shopping happens, I sit down and (try) pick out one new recipe and one old, familiar recipe. I always have eggs and toast on hand when I want something quick (it also serves as budget conscience because eggs/bread are so cheap). I also always have cereal on hand for a quick meal or snack as well. I know it'll be better than chips or cookies :)

How do you plan your meals? Do you even plan them? I'd say 50% of the time I don't and it always hurts me in the end; I can't decide what to eat, I don't have this or that...oh, fine, I'll just go out or I end up waiting until it's super late. Now, that does not bode well with my waist.

Lots of <3

thank you and hello, dapper eddie

Last week was a mess. I was a mess but it turned out to be a good mess. A lot happened, a lot of good things and then the weekend...duh, duh, duuuuuh...I got sick and am still recovering but I sometimes enjoy being sick. I know, right? Mostly because I can be lazy and not feel guilty for any of it. I deserve rest damnit!

Besides the crappy end of the week, during the week I went to two concerts; Fun. and Like Moths to Flames. Both amazing and both I would do over again without thinking. And, am once again thankful I only had to buy one ticket. SINGLE! No supporting anyone but myself. Feels great! I'll keep saying it as long as I want to. I just want to scream it every time!

{ -- me with Like Moths to Flames lead Chris Roetter -- }

In other news...Eddie got his hairs did and man, does he look handsome. My dad doesn't like it when I get Eddie's hair done but no matter how often I brush him or bathe him, it needs to be done more often than it seems. He had several tiny knots started everywhere and you can't brush that out. You have to cut them out. Also, when his hair gets long, he seems to retain stink longer. I typically bathe him 1-2X a week depending on how he's smelling or how much of a mess he's gotten himself into. I'll wait as long as I can anyway because the cost to maintain a cut is fairly pricey. It'll grow back and it'll keep doing that so, my dad will get his little buddy back again soon.

{ -- Eddie, looking dapper -- }

Happy Wednesday!

Lots of <3

should i believe?

There are things worth a person's time and there are things that aren't. I took time out of my day yesterday to rehash my past. Why? I've no idea but it did feel good. I had a conversation about it and I'm hoping it was an honest transaction because when it comes to that part of my past, it was all lies. In any case, I've realized that I've moved on and in such a healthy way. With that said, I can honestly say to myself that I am more thankful everyday since that part of my life ended.

{ -- Apple holding Jack -- }

Some more good news? OK! My sister had a baby boy over the weekend. A healthy, 8lb. 10oz. baby boy. His name is Jack Patrick Sullivan, middle name from his daddy. Like her first, Apple, I got to be in the room again when it all happened and it was amazing.

It all started Friday night. She had started contractions at 1am Friday and they weren't progressing but they did get worse late into Friday evening. So, I headed out to Lincoln (a good 45min. drive). We hung out while her contractions kept getting more painful. We dropped Apple off at my Grandmother's and headed to the hospital. By this time, my sister was in a lot of pain. Up until 4am waiting in the room, we eventually took naps but woke up to my sister's water breaking at 7am. Things started getting serious, she had over 2 hours of pushing and there he was. Born at 10:10am! They went home Monday and he's definitely keeping them busy.

{ -- Jack Patrick Sullivan -- }

It's unreal being a part of the journey and I'm so grateful to have been a part of it. What a world that little boy is in for.

Lots of <3

highlights of my life

Most of my highlights consist of my puppies, going to concerts, being with my family, health and the work I do...oh, and don't forget...FOOD! It's all the things I love and enjoy.

I recently, at the last minute, went to see Puscifer and I am so glad I did. I've been a Tool fan since I was in middle school and have seen them and A Perfect Circle and had not been all too impressed. Maynard mostly stands back and you can barely see him. He hardly moves and there's not much of a 'show'. I'd be better off lying on my living room floor blasting his music, it'd all be the same.

Puscifer was different. It was in a much smaller venue than Tool and A Perfect Circle, it didn't sell out and we took the floor seats. He showed himself and hung out with the crowd after the show up front on stage, in chairs. They played loud and there was a ton of bass, you could feel your hair and your bones shake with the music. I wouldn't even think twice to see them again.

My friend had gotten a threat about being kicked out if he filmed so I didn't take any video, which is such a bummer. So, I can't share any video. I would suggest a search for them on YouTube to find some good live videos of those who took the chance. UPDATE: they just posted a really good video on their Facebook page, embedded below for your pleasure...and, mine :)

Lots of <3

P.S. I see you, St. Cloud. You stole so much from me and are hurting me, yet I stole nothing from you and do not hurt you on purpose. Please leave me alone.

seriously excited

{ -- rockin' the walking treadmill at work, love it! -- }

I have some really great news and I can't wait to share it with you but it'll have to wait. Why?! Well, I'm working on protecting myself further as my recent breakup still wants to haunt me but it's getting fixed and it'll just take time. I'm really in no hurry so it's all okay. I still can't wait to talk about it!

In the meantime, I am kicking a** and taking names when it comes to working out. I feel 10X stronger than I was weeks ago. New Jazzercise routines are in and they're so much fun and get my heart rate going. The one thing that always bothered me though was this one instructor brags about her heart rate being so high but from what I've learned from trainers and from a ton of articles, is that you're not supposed to let it get that high. However, she is super fit so I have to give her credit. At the moment, I'm keeping mine in the fat burning zone which means, I don't work as hard and do all the high impact moves as often but I'd rather be burning fat than anything else on my body.

Also, today is my dad's birthday! <3 him so much :) I've been spending a lot of time with them lately and I love it. Watching The Walking Dead, The River and cooking dinners. I'm very lucky to have them in my life and the support is amazing. I don't know if I could do it without them.

Keep on keeping on with yourselves.

<3

i dedicate this song to

The lonely one. This will be vague but is necessary because these are the emotions I deal with on and off, and now on because this person just won't go away. I'll share more later...maybe.

Your dreams, they slowly fade.
So uncommitted and it's such a waste.
You're left alone and afraid.
Now just confine your problems, 
And figure out your own way to solve them.


I'm not sorry.


I'm not sorry for all the things I've said, 
Go *oh dear* yourself if you can't handle it.


Don't act like you're the one who's innocent.
Have you still learned nothing from this?
When will you face your shameful actions?


Don't act like you're the one that's better off.
I know that you planned this to just let go
It didn't matter the cost.


I'll never need the things you're offering.
You turned your back on me, 
It's such a shame to see.


When we believed we all could live out our dreams, We all stood up for something.
Now that you're left with nothing, 
Don't act like you're better off.
Cold conscious slowly fading, 
You can't get back what you've lost.


Your conscious is slowly fading away, 
Go face the path you've paved.


I watched your dreams die, 
They fell in front of your eyes.
Watch your dreams die, 
They fell in front of your eyes.


I'll never need the things you're offering.
You turned your back on me, 
It's such a shame to see.


When we believed we all could live out our dreams, 
We all stood up for something.
Now that you're left with nothing, 
Don't act like you're better off.
Cold conscious slowly fading, 
You can't get back what you've lost.


Cold conscious slowly fading, 
Cold conscious slowly fading.
You can't get back what you've lost


With that said, I am in a really great place in my life now and I've moved on from most of what's happened. However, because of him taking advantage of me (because he ruined his own life), I am still dealing with those consequences. It's really sad but I'm not one to let that get me down.


So, with that, here is to the new year that has started off with a freakin' BANG of awesome sauce and moving past all of your obstacles that you face. Life is what you make it and I've seen the proof, on both spectrums. I'm just glad I'm on the right side.


<3

when i grow up

I never, in a million years (cause I am totally going to live that long), thought I would ever partake in this:


However, I am! I signed up and I cannot wait. Begin training...NOW!

<3

jazzer...wha!

{ -- my girl doing her workout thang -- }

I have tried most workouts...seems like I have. I've done yoga, Pilates, kickboxing, personal training, boot camp and general workouts in the gym by myself or with a friend. I go back to the gym atmosphere every once in a blue moon and I'll push in a yoga DVD when I'm just too tired or feel more like stretching than getting a ton of cardio in but none of these workouts have ever stuck with me.

In 2002, I was at my first full-time gig, doing my real-time career along with a couple of other young girls starting out as well and I was on a mission to count calories and do all the necessary steps to avoid gaining weight. I'd like to say I have this amazing weight loss story...but, I don't. It's more of a preventative weight gain story.

I always hated working out in High School but I started to get heavier and as soon as I hit the double digits in jean size (women can relate), I joined a gym and worked out like crazy. I lost the weight I'd initially gained and got back to my 'normal' size but I hit my plateau and started to hate the gym. But, when I started this new job, one of the girls commiserated with me and introduced me to...Jazzercise.

Now, my GRANDMA did Jazzercise...years and years ago and my perception, like most, was not necessarily good? Anytime Jazzercise is brought up in any conversation, there are always smirks but I tell you, it's a workout not to be messed with. I went with this co-worker and was immediately addicted and have been a member and kept off the weight for over 9 years now. It is the one workout I look forward to, feel challenged in and know I will finish to the end. Who doesn't like to shake their booty...literally off their body?

Jazzercise is an hour long class consisting of cardio, weights, target training and stretching. It's an entire body workout and you burn up to 500 calories a class! Go to the gym and burn 500 calories on your own...boooooring! Just last week, I went to four classes (one was a half class) and burned over 1,500 calories. Feels great and I'm not stopping. I'm back in my grove this year and there's no turning back :)

<3

it's a good day

{ -- Suki Boos and Eddie Bud calm. rare, but it happens -- }

Lately, I've shared some frustrations but, hey, it's part of life. However, we move forward and let go of the things that seem to ruin us and learn from them. Been there, done that, I'm over it. So, I share a quote my dad shared with me the other day:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” ~ Charles R Swindoll

What a great way to see things. It's so refreshing and I would like to read this quote every day, multiple times throughout that day. I will. Everything I do moving forward is more important than anything I've lived in the past. I am grateful for that. If we had to live in the past, I'd be a wreck. With that said, I am one happy girl...as you can see :)

{ -- Sokol Underground with Attack Attack! lead singer, Caleb Shomo -- }

<3

i'm flattered, really

{ -- thai leftovers... YUM! --}

I realize that life has its ups and downs and I realize that you have to rise against all that is against you. But, sometimes it is definitely difficult. However, a pep talk with someone who believes in you in every aspect of your life is just what's needed.

Sometimes life sucks.
Sometimes it doesn't.
At least the wolves didn't kill us

...we just saw The Grey over the weekend. It was so good.

Love you dad!

<3

life is good

I'm rather excited for this week. I'm taking a couple days off and I'm assigning a task to each day. Sounds lame but shiz needs to get done and it's how I do. Plus, it's the first week in our new office and it is SO nice and refreshing (so is the weather, it's insane). It's good to shuffle things up. Not only that but I get to attend a concert this week and lately I've just been dying to see live bands play. It's like my life line. I need it to live. There are not enough shows here to satisfy.

I hope you're having the best of days. Keep on keeping on! Life is good :)

<3

busy, busy body

{ -- my pups are famous! posted on reddit and got over 300,000 views on imgur.com! -- }

So, for Christmas a good friend of mine (a guy!) made me these pillows! How cute are they?! He even made the tails on the back. Probably one of the best gifts I've ever gotten from a friend.

It seems as though, adding in more workouts makes my life feel way crazier! I don't know what it is, it's only 30-60 minutes in my 16 or so hour day? With that, a small post for you. Since it has been feeling much busier, I've been looking for lots of inspiration to keep my chin up; be it things to look forward to, taking a deep breath and living in the moment that I am in. I have lots to be thankful for. This year is going to be great.

No longer forward nor behind
I look in hope and fear;
But grateful take the good I find,
The best of now and here.

› John G. Whittier

<3

yummee-ness: tofu & quinoa

{ -- yummee-ness -- }

Part of my 'happy' is making really good, healthy food. I love to cook, I hate to clean up but I still do it anyway...even tho it may happen a day later ;)

To the point, I want to start featuring some recipes that I find; where I get them from, how it went and any tips I can offer to help make them better or healthier. I tend to take recipes and make them my own or I'll make them straight up and not miss a step or ingredient in the process but that's mostly when I'm being lazy and just want to get the job done.

This is probably the simplest dish I have EVER made and it was delicious and made a ton of leftovers...well, for one at least. I have basically been working to make up for my loss over the last year when I was supporting someone else...sooo, I scrape together meals. Don't get me wrong, I went and ate out with friends last weekend, however, when I eat alone or at home I don't get take-out or make elaborate meals. I've more than made up for the loss but I'd like to keep it there AND make more on top of it. Plus, I like the challenge. Most of the time, I'll typically come up with new combinations because I'm pulling different ingredients together to make up something from nothing, really. Most of the ingredients from this recipe were leftover pieces from another meal. I really only bought the box of quinoa and rice and added the left over stuff I had in the fridge.

This could almost be served as a side dish as well. Be creative! You don't have to use what I used, make substitutions wherever you'd like. When it comes to piecing together a meal, I never follow any rules...except for using "yummee" ingredients.

The Tofu & Quinoa Experiment of Yummee-ness

• 1/2 very small red onion, chopped

• 2 sprigs (?) of green onion, chopped

• 1 tbs. garlic, minced (I like garlic.)

• 1/2 cup frozen peas

• 1 box of Near East Quinoa Blend - Roasted Red Pepper & Basil

• 1/2 block very firm tofu, cut into small squares and seared on each side (sub w/whatever kind of protein you like!)

Directions:
Begin searing the tofu on a stovetop with a bit of olive oil...while that's going, pull together and chop all ingredients. Follow up with fixing the quinoa and rice mix (I just followed the directions on the box). When the tofu is flipped and have been searing for a few minutes, add in the red onion, green onion and garlic. I then took the peas and got those ready in the microwave (I'm sure I could have done in the quinoa and rice while it was boiling but...I didn't). Once the tofu is ready, quickly add the squares and the peas to the softly boiling quinoa and rice and let it finish up! That's it! Love it.

Let me know if you make it, what you substituted...what you liked/didn't like about it. I would love to hear.

<3