Sep 26, 2011

it's never made so much sense, until now

When you lay it all out, make the list of all the horrible things one person can be responsible for in such a short time and then to know they don't care and will never care, you realize just how much more valuable and caring a person yourself is. I recently spent some time with friends who knew my ex but didn't know how much he'd done. I saw jaws drop like never before. I realize I'm nothing perfect, however, I never compromised my ex the way he did me; lies, betrayal, unaccepting that the relationship didn't work and then trying to force it?? He'd put me down saying I'm less educated than him and make me feel like a horrible person yet still want to be with me. It was confusing and he was broken in more ways than one. I let it go on too long and wasted a lot of time, money and care for someone who inevitably does not care about me...or my family for that matter. I have to apologize to them for bringing him into my life.

I digress because I am thankful everyday for him not being here anymore and am thankful for such supportive people around me who take me in and believe in me. I've gone to my therapy sessions and have been through the mourning stages. There's been a loss but a loss I needed; I don't wish to ever revisit that life again. I should be so happy it did not go on any longer.

I just wanted to take this time to be thankful for everything. I walked away from this experience with more knowledge and gratitude than ever. I've moved on and am finding an all new happiness. It's wonderful and I can't thank my family and friends enough. I am loved.

No comments:

Post a Comment