Dec 28, 2011

it's over 2011, it's been over for a long time

{ -- chopped my hair off! -- }

It has been...the longest and most challenging year of my life. I started this blog in the middle of the year because things were going downhill. Fast. And, I've realized that it wasn't the result of anything I was doing or had done. I was in a really destructive relationship and something had to change. Ever since it's been over, things have never been better. I no longer am paying twice for everything supporting someone who can't even support himself, I'm not being lied to and manipulated into feeling bad. You can't be with someone who wants to make you feel bad on purpose. I later learned that, through talking with my therapist, his actions and how he treated me were proposed as a sociopath and it was nothing I could have helped or change. It was not going to get better and I am better off out of that relationship.

Phew! Moving forward has never sounded so delicious. So, here I am...making huge strides towards feeling better about being me and I feel awesome. It's all in how you learn from these situations that make you a better person. I had an amazing New Year and I spent it with some amazing people. I couldn't be more grateful for them.

Here is to a new, improved me and an even better life in 2012. I am over you, 2011, and we are breaking up...and, no, you don't have a choice. You can't take me down, nothing is stopping me now.

Hope you all had a safe New Year and did it with a huge grin on your face, I know I did. Cheers!


Dec 23, 2011

wub wub wub

I can now say last year! Okay, so, last year I got to go see Skrillex twice and I can't explain in this post how amazing both shows were. More so the second show than the first. It completely blew me away. I got to see him in my home town and the second show in Lawrence, KS. The second show, in Lawrence, was in the beginning of November and I've really wanted to share the experience with you. Skrillex is a dubstep artist and has gained, assuming, the most popularity when it comes to the genre. It's a bit like techno but...not as boring? :) I'm not technically versed in the genre so I won't go on anymore. If you want to read more about it, go here.

The only way I can share is with the videos I recorded. I wasn't planning at all on recording a bunch but ended up wanting to record the entire show! I uploaded the videos immediately to YouTube and created a playlist of all of them in the order of the show. Below I've embedded the first video that started it off and here is the link for the entire playlist.

I hope you enjoy! It was a blast. I basically cried during the first half, I was so happy. If you're interested or if he ever comes close to your hometown, it's more than worth your time and money. He sells out fast though! Happy New Year!


Dec 8, 2011

a pause

{ -- tuckered pups -- }

It's been a busy, few weeks with the holidays and I've learned a lot. I have been working out consistently, even lost some weight and I feel awesome! Albeit, a bit tired because it's one more thing I need/want to get done but I've no regrets. I'm reaping benefits like crazy! Life is really good.

I wanted to take time though to post about some inspirations in my life, other than the usuals. This one is about other people online that inspire me. When I take a break from work, the pups or cleaning...this is where I go. I'm not as caught up as I'd like to be with all of them and I wish I had the time to sit and watch or read but, man, I've got a life to live and I'm living it :) Here are the top five!
  • Anna is a blogger. A sweet and simple blogger about all the good things in life. I love how short and sweet her posts are and how bouncy she sounds! Check her out at Life is Sweet*
  • Dooce is also a blogger, a completely blunt blogger. I love her sense of humor, her fun/cute family and honesty.
  • I love photography but it's a past hobby of mine. I just haven't revisited and have lost the interest but I still love to look at other's awesome photos. A favorite of mine is Girl With A Camera. Not only does she have great photos but she lives in another country, has an awesome accent, is a gamer, and knows how to imitate vampires and zombies :)
  • I love to cook, absolutely love to cook but I am also a health nut when it comes to cooking. Almost vegetarian but not 100% so I absolutely adore this couple (who just had a super cute baby). They share the most delicious recipes with the craziest/healthiest ingredients that don't include a lot of meat but are not limited to including it. Check them out at (never home)maker!
  • Last, but not least, recently married bloggers, the CTFxC. They vlog their every day life. A home-made reality show. So fun, so cute and I admire their confidence in front of a camera. They've been doing it for over three years now?!
I hope you all had a really great holiday with family and friends. I recently just attended my friend's holiday party. Hours of good company, awesome food, games and staying up late :)

Merry (belated) Christmas and Happy New Year from me and the pups.


Nov 28, 2011

my little guy, eddie

{ -- Eddie and his birthday cake, thanks to my friend, Brady! -- }

I can't believe I forgot to blog about my little man's birthday! I gotta say, I can't believe he is already a year old! Awwwws, he's the cutest puppy ever and will always be my little guy. Happy Birthday little man Eddie!


Nov 25, 2011

a great thanksgiving

{-- my little guy, Eddie, napping with me after we got home --}

The end of this week (Thanksgiving) has been so awesome. And, honestly, I am so happy because I worked out :) Not because of the food, not because of the family, not because of anything but working out. I didn't feel as awesome on Thanksgiving Day because I did eat too much and felt uncomfortable but not only did a I do an hour and 15 minute Jazzercise routine that morning at 8:15am with my sister but we worked out to Dance Central that night AND, the next morning at 5:40am(!) we did an hour class. FOR REAL! I am gonna be super sexy :) Forget what I ate, I don't feel guilty eating my Grandma's awesome gravy I eat every year because I burned all of it off!

{-- up front. GO BIG RED! --}

THEN! I was able to hit the last game of the year with my sister, brother-in-law and my dad. We played great, we sucked and then we played great again and then they scored...however, we won!!!

Despite the tiresome journey of Thanksgiving, I look forward to it every year. I'm home now and I got to nap with the puppies. They got to run around and play with my niece, Apple. We're a happy family and I am...thankful :)

Are you?!


Nov 21, 2011


{-- my boogers chillaxin' with me on the couch --}

I love Thanksgiving, I do. Albeit, I can only spend so much time with my family at a time — it's still a favorite holiday. The reasons are simple and across it all, there is a ton of laughing, smiling and napping after stuffing our faces. Here are reasons and gratitude as to why I love this holiday:

One, because I eat a lot of really, really yummy food that everyone takes part in.

Two, because while I'm grateful everyday, this is THE day to revel in thanks and gratitude. Be sure to thank someone on that day or to say out loud what you're thankful for. You'd be surprised how much goodness is going on. We get so focused on all the negative aspects in life, it's so easy to get sucked into. I know from experience with myself and others around me.

Three, because I join in on the early morning Jazzercise class with my sister. I believe this is our 3rd or 4th year doing it and it's become tradition. I really enjoy that I can share my healthy values with someone in the family and they help support that by motivating me.

Four, because I get time off of work :)

Tonight, I've got to prepare for a potluck at work tomorrow...that's right, I'll be stuffing my face twice with Turkey and fixings. All the more reason to join in on the Jazzercise classes. I still have yet to figure out what to bring! I am so last minute.

{-- UPDATE: looks yummy, eh?? I ended up making Cream Cheese Brownies --}

Hope you have awesome Thanksgiving plans to look forward to, no matter what they are, there is gratitude in there somewhere. Enjoy!


Nov 15, 2011

how i motivate me

{ -- my litte bud hanging out w/me on the couch -- }

It's not easy but, then again, sometimes it is. I have to admit, half the time my motivation comes from others around me that have hurt me. Moving on from that has been a great push for me to keep being the better person. Life is, after all, a step-by-step/day-by-day process. What's in the past, is past and you can't change that. But, I can change what happens in the future. Or, at least, make better choices for myself. Part of that has been letting go of the people that have hurt me. It's been a lot easier than I thought and I've welcomed the ones who have supported me and have opened up more to them. Not only that but I've made new friends as well that are inspirational to me. That have drive and motivation in what they do; day in, day out. Whether it be their career or their personal lives; like cooking/eating healthy and working out. Generally someone who doesn't think life is a burdon and that they deserve something they really don't. Someone who works hard, enjoys life and looks at the positive side.

What else motivates me? The drive to not disappoint. To not take advantage and to not be like the others have been. My family and friends. I thank the people in my life for being there for me. For listening; whether they like my choices or not, they've heard me and they don't give up on me.

It's not healthy being so negative and we all have to learn to forgive and maybe not necessarily forget...but to move on and learn from it all. I hold no anger anymore and I'm happy to let go because I'm in a much better place. I'm honestly happy these days and can prove it with a smile...which I do every day.

What motivates you?


Nov 11, 2011

my awesome morning

{ -- hmmm, what's this? -- }

I have my moments of doubt about a lot of things. I am super hard on myself and for good reason. I'm not easily motivated and if I don't give myself a hard time, I'll slack. The downfall with that...a lot of paranoia about what other people think of me at work; how am I doing? Am I doing my job right? Am I fast enough? Smart enough? Am I producing quality work that is worth it? All of my suspicions have now been put aside because this morning, when I walked into work there was a sealed envelope on my keyboard. Hmmm...what could this be?? I unloaded my things, sat down and opened it. Inside was a single, blank card with handwriting on one side. Below is what it said:

We don't get many chances to sit and chat, but I want you to know that I am so happy you are here. I appreciate everything you do and I really enjoy spending time with you when we can. You are a true talent in what you do and a beautiful person inside and out. We are lucky to have you here with us. 

What a great start to a great weekend. Tonight is a chill night and tomorrow is my friend's annual friend Thanksgiving. I'll need to find something to cook and bring! I can't wait. She cooks so much food, everyone brings something, there's even a full size turkey! We all sit down together and eat a turkey meal. I look forward to it every year.

Definitely thankful for today, my letter I received and my friend who puts together our annual friend thanksgiving. So thankful.

Happy Friday!


Nov 10, 2011

another step

{ -- my little boogers, chillin' -- }

I admit, I've been lazy...but not lately! I FINALLY made it to a morning Jazzercise class and I cannot recommend working out in the mornings enough. I've done it before but it's been years and I did it today and I feel amazing. Yes, I'm tired...yes, I will want to crash when I get home but I've made plans so I'm thwarting that as much as I can. Dinner is being made for me, watching Big Bang Theory and An American Horror Story...can't get better than that :)

Tuesday evening, I forced myself to class and I left feeling so good. I noticed a poster up about a class called, "Pure Muscle"...ahem, all of Jazzercise's 'extra' classes always sound dirty. Maybe it's just me but the other one I remember was called, "Personal Touch". Seems wrong? Eh? I think so...

Anyway, I jumped on it (woah!) and asked about signing up. It'd already started but there are three left and they cut the price for me. Bonus! I figured it's a good way to get a head start on my way back into being fit and much, much more happier about everything including myself. Thing is, it was the next day (Wednesday)...screw it, I'm going! It was almost an hour class of all weights and bands and it was definitely hard but felt so good (my mind is totally in the gutter now)


okay, so already being sore that night and tired I decided to go to a morning Jazzercise class (coming to today now). What's wrong with me?! The class is at 5:45AM! I'm so motivated now. On top of all of this getting back into working out, I've cleaned house as well and I feel even better...if that's possible. I was attempting a morning class on Tuesday but it just didn't happen. I've been waking up in the night feeling sick, cold sick but this morning I said, I'm going...and, I did. No regrets.

{ -- my sister, Erica, and me...eating in Lawrence, KS :) --}

While this past year has been...I can't find's been a wake up call. I'm feeling better about myself; who I am and these last few months, life has been getting better by the moment. I've been to New York, I met new people, I made up for some concerts and went to Kansas's all been so good AND now I'm back to working out AND looking my best for...well, tsk tsk, I'm not saying what for ;)

What's getting you motivated? A life experience? The people around you? Family? Work? I have my regrets and my pitfalls have been enormous this past year; while some my doing, I didn't deserve more than half of what'd happened to me. Things were stolen, I lost a lot of money, I was taken advantage of and I regret it BUT it's made me a better person because of all of that. I am a better person today and will continue being a better person. I am loving life.


Oct 31, 2011

super fun weekend

{-- my little bud, Eddie, in his new winter sweater --}

I've decided to keep my blog here, at its current address. I thought about moving it but decided against because why should I change for anything or anybody! My life is great and I still want to share the happy moments I have with you and not lose anyone in the process.

I had one of the best weekends. I've been super busy and super happy, I can't keep up. It all started with our Halloween party at work on Friday. We took off at noon and went to Skate Daze where we roller-skated/rollerbladed and played lazer tag. I've never played and it was a lot of fun! We played two rounds and won the second :)

Day before, I got together with my mom and she helped me pull together my DIY costume. A few people got it. Let's see if you can. Below is a sneak peek. My shirt had flames on it and I had a tail. It has to do with what I do for a living.

{-- any guesses? not a mouse...check hints above --}

The party ended at about 2:30pm and they let us all start our weekend early (I love my job!). I went home, took a long, heavy nap on the couch with Suki and headed to my parents to pick up my dad. Left in the evening to my sister's in Lincoln to stay the night and go to the game on Saturday. And, what an awesome game! High fives, jumping up and down and "Whooos" all throughout. So much fun. Go big red!

{-- my sister, Erica, on the left and me at the Husker game --}

Leaving the game and then Lincoln Saturday evening; I got home and met up with a good friend of mine and we headed out to Benson to a Halloween party at Krug Park. All sorts of people watching, my cup of tea.

Sunday was such a chill day, they're probably my favorites. I meet my mom every Sunday for coffee and reading and I typically nap and lounge all morning and afternoon. Followed up coffee with my friend coming by again, cooked dinner (Chicken Waterzooi de Poulet, a yearly seasonal must) and we watched Big Bang Theory and American Horror Story. Oh my! Have you seen American Horror Story?? We watched from the beginning on On Demand and it was phenomenal. I couldn't believe how good it was. So bizarre, freaky and super intriguing. Can't wait to get back from out of town this week to watch the new episode.

I hope your weekend was as stellar as mine and here's to another super busy week ahead!


Oct 18, 2011

back home

{ -- Eddie after I got home, my little booger is sleepy heads -- }

I may be alone but it feels good to have a 'home' to come home to :) It's not much but I love my apartment. I just need someone to fix it up for me; style it and make it more comfy. My recent trip to NY brought me to a couple friends of mine and their apartment. It was awesome and I really wanted to take photos but didn't want to be too forward. I joked about having her design my apartment and help decorate it, I instantly get jealous of those who can do that and actually follow through. She quickly said, 'yes' and was very serious about it. I think I'll send her photos this week and see if she's still interested and can help give tips on items to help organize and decorate the space. First step: pick up, pile up and make room to start organizing items.

I have quite a bit of photos from NY that I'd like to share and will do that this week as well, so come back to see those! It was pretty amazing but I'm glad I'm home.


Oct 13, 2011

NYC, here i am!

I can't believe it but I am here in New York, in my second day and got to see the view already from a previous post. This image is mine this time and I got to see it in person :) and I get to see more.

Last weekend was amazing and saw some really awesome bands play this weekend with a good friend (and, I didn't have to buy his ticket...perrrfect). Posted a short video of Of Mice & Men playing (beware, lots of screaming and 'angry' music after click) and got to meet a few of the band members. Photos below. It couldn't have been a better weekend.

~ We Came As Romans ~

~ Miss May I ~

~ Of Mice & Men ~

Can't be more thankful. I hope your weekend was just as eventful and full of the things you love and what makes you happy. I know mine was. Life couldn't get better? Could it?? I'm in New York!

"When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing." - Julia Di Nardo

Sep 30, 2011


1.   My current obsession is     hmmm, good company and a smile on my face  .

2.    Friends and my pups     make me happy.

3.  My greatest strength is   overcoming difficult times   .

4.    I get super distracted by the interwebs so, I'd say my attention span    is my greatest weakness.

5.  My life is    wonderful. I am so blessed and everything is so much better than I ever could have hoped for it to be. ‹ This was the author's answer and I just have to steal it because it's exactly what I'd want to say. › Life is great  .

6.  In high school I was     a middle-of-the-road kind of kid. I wasn't popular or a total outcast. Just right in the middle ‹ Again, stealing her answer but it's the same for me  .

7.  When I'm super tired    ...I take a nap ;) I get super impatient and just don't want to do anything...any...thing  .

Happy Friday! I know it is for me :)

{ Friday blanks via the little things we do... }

life, never ceases to amaze me

My life couldn't get more exciting. Everyday, I do not take for granted the life that I live. I'm so grateful for a lot of things and when something comes up that's this exciting, I'm in disbelief. This is part of my journey and I'm going to learn and experience so much. What's the news?? Well, I am going to New York! AH! I am freaking out, just a little bit but I am SO excited!

What will I be doing?? I'm going to a geek conference :) and I'll be visiting friends as well. Hopefully they can show me around a bit. I've never been!

Here is to an awesome end of the year after a really crappy start to it. I'm doing it right and it feels awesome. I'm so happy!

Sep 28, 2011

everyday i'm shufflin'

{eddie with his pink frisbee it's his favorite toy}

This week, I think I've laughed more than ever, got to see a movie, went out to eat, had some tasty beer, had good company and it hasn't stopped yet. I get to play with a shiba puppy tomorrow again! A good friend of mine brought his puppy over to play with Eddie last week and they were the cutest together. They went on for over an hour, wrestling and nipping at each other. They are totally BFFs.

Hope your week is well and we're halfway there!

Sep 26, 2011

it's never made so much sense, until now

When you lay it all out, make the list of all the horrible things one person can be responsible for in such a short time and then to know they don't care and will never care, you realize just how much more valuable and caring a person yourself is. I recently spent some time with friends who knew my ex but didn't know how much he'd done. I saw jaws drop like never before. I realize I'm nothing perfect, however, I never compromised my ex the way he did me; lies, betrayal, unaccepting that the relationship didn't work and then trying to force it?? He'd put me down saying I'm less educated than him and make me feel like a horrible person yet still want to be with me. It was confusing and he was broken in more ways than one. I let it go on too long and wasted a lot of time, money and care for someone who inevitably does not care about me...or my family for that matter. I have to apologize to them for bringing him into my life.

I digress because I am thankful everyday for him not being here anymore and am thankful for such supportive people around me who take me in and believe in me. I've gone to my therapy sessions and have been through the mourning stages. There's been a loss but a loss I needed; I don't wish to ever revisit that life again. I should be so happy it did not go on any longer.

I just wanted to take this time to be thankful for everything. I walked away from this experience with more knowledge and gratitude than ever. I've moved on and am finding an all new happiness. It's wonderful and I can't thank my family and friends enough. I am loved.

Sep 14, 2011

more grateful than ever

It's not that I haven't been grateful all of the days I haven't posted, in fact, throughout all of the drama I've had this year (more than any year of my life) I've been even more grateful for the life I live and the people that are around me. They've been so supportive. I had a horrible breakup that resulted in me losing a lot of money but I've gained most of it back. It's a sad story really. He lives a sad life and if I come out of it with anything, it's that I am much better off than I ever thought I was and that makes me so happy.

Hard to describe and spill the beans about everything but it's a good day and tomorrow will be that much better. Sadly, though, I may have to transition my blog to another URL and I won't be able to tell you where it goes. If you would like to know (if anyone's out there), send me a message!

Here's to not sucking at life and getting rid of the toxins in your life.


Jul 13, 2011

if i am to learn anything

Life has been difficult. Mostly stressful but I stand to keep my head up and do what makes me happy. I've been trying SO hard to not let anything get me down and to keep moving ahead. I have no excuse for not posting the last few days and I'm not giving up on this blog just yet...well, hopefully never.

Today, I'm grateful for the motivation I have to get back to Jazzercise. I'm driven by this frustration that I have and I KNOW that when I finish Jazzercise, I feel so much better. I've worked out a lot of that by sweating it out and shakin' mah booty. Also, it frees me from sitting on the couch and feeling miserable because I'm not, nor did I do nothing. I feel accomplished, I did my part and I'm a better person because of it. Those small strides are going to push me to be even better than I am now with a better outlook on life and a better belief in myself because I did it...not anyone else. I did it. For myself.

What gets you motivated and what do you do when you're just not feelin' it? I honestly believe you can't go wrong with a good, long workout.

Happy Wednesday! I'm getting there with just a short 3 hours I will be on my way to Jazzercise and will already feeling much better.

Jul 7, 2011

there is nothing greater

It's all about the small things to me. Whether I notice them or not, as a whole, they amount to something greater than everything else and we take all of these small things for granted.

This morning I woke up to little star post-its all over the apartment today from my boyfriend. We've been having some turbulence in the last week, "some" is maybe an understatement but I'm trying here. However, we are remaining cordial to each other and walking through this together, whatever it may be. Maybe not as close as we once were but still together.

The small notes said things like, "DING! You just checked in at "The Bathroom"" and "You look beautiful this morning!" and so on. Some even mentioned what outfit I may wear and that I should wear my hair up...dare I say, there were even a couple post-its in the shower! Nothing naughty! Dirty you!! But, they made me smile and really set me up for a wonderful day. How can anything go wrong after such a flattering morning :) I feel good today, even though...tomorrow is the BIG, round, 3-0.

Happy Thursday!

Jul 5, 2011

a hopeful future

{photo: Eddie, being Eddie in his bath. IE: so freakin' cute.}

My 30th...yes, that's right, my 30th birthday is on Friday and I can honestly say I am not scared or worried. I know that good things are coming my way and if I have to plow through the worst of times this long to get there, I am not giving up. I won't go into my woes of not being married, even engaged...or not even owning a house yet because it's not my time. I'll get there and I'll be happy still, even more so.

I hope your holiday weekend was a good one. I got to see some amazing fireworks and am grateful for making the efforts to get out to see them. As well as hanging out with some really great friends.

Jul 1, 2011

friday blanks

1. The best news I ever received was...I honestly can't answer this question, I can't think of anything. That's sorta sad.

2. Something I'm looking forward to is the weekend and my future. I can't wait, but can sometimes, to see what's going to happen to me.

3. Something I would never do is skydiving. I am definitely not a thrill seeker.

4. If I could choose someone to be my life coach (famous or not, living or dead), I'd choose...this is going to make you laugh but at the moment it'd be Bethenny Frankel. I love brutal open honest personality and she's a go-getter. Get it done or move on from it!

5. If I had to put a label on my style it would be casual. I like to dress up here and there, I love heels but don't like wearing them but I don't think I'm sloppy either. Just casual. Tennies, jeans and a tee or sweatshirt and I'm happy.

6. One should always be conscious of their surroundings and not take things for granted.

7. I want to go on vacation, period.
Friday blanks via the little things we do....

Jun 30, 2011

i'm getting sleep

How hard is it, really? ...really hard! I am a night owl, grew up that way. I always stayed up late with my mom watching movies or Nick At Night (Mary Tyler Moore, Cheers!). I loved it; it was time to relax, time for me, time to take my day into perspective, time to understand everything that had happened to me. It's my favorite and worst part of my day because I agonize over the next day. I don't want that time to ever end but, alas, it does end. I still fight it every once in a while and may not creep into bed until 2:30AM!

Lately, well, mostly this week, I've gotten into bed before 11PM and am feeling the awesome side affects of it. I'm waking up earlier (although, I am not getting "up" earlier, I still procrastinate getting up) and I feel just better. My only problem is the getting up part now. I'd love to sit, read and eat a bowl of cereal before I head out the door. And, eventually, I'd really love to start walking or getting to a Jazzercise class. That's way in the future but I believe it's possible for me. In any case, I'm grateful for getting to bed earlier and just feeling better about it.

What time do you get to bed? I really do wish I were a morning person, and I can be...I just have to really want to be for it to happen. How do I get there?!

Jun 28, 2011

one of my favorite things

I know I post a lot of photos of my puppies...but man, they are seriously one of the things I miss the most throughout my day (sorry Danny...I miss you too but y'know, puppy love is somethin' else). I never used to like dogs, really. I was more of a cat person and did have a cat (AJAX) at one point. She is with a friend now, hopefully in good hands! Never did I think I'd have a dog, NEVER! Then one day, I sort of wanted one...along with a little push from someone I was dating at the time. Concluded to find a mid-size breed that had a good personality, some spunk and was super cute. In comes Suki.

Shiba Inu dogs were always a favorite of mine, in fact, it was the dog I chose on the Nintendogs game for the handheld console. How embarrassing I played that, never mind, it was a fun game! Anyway, I found Suki (her breeder named her Sassy, come to find out...very fitting) in Iowa from a family breeder. I did the research and the internal and external debate about buying from a breeder but I'd had several email conversations with the breeder and she seemed OK and I have no regrets. Suki has been a great dog, healthy and vibrant ("full of piss and vinegar", says the breeder as she hands this 4lb. puppy over to me). She is and always will be my 'first love'.

Love you Suki boooooooos!

Jun 24, 2011

on time 'fill in the blank friday'

1. The last thing I ate was Green grapes...and a snack Snickers :)

2. The next thing I'd like to eat is my Papa Murhpy's leftover Thai pizza, which is where I'm headed...home.

3. The best things are moments of happiness, for me they seem rare so I always try to treasure them when they do happen.

4. Something that makes me supremely and utterly happy is reading a book. My reason is sad, it's because I can escape and live in another world but it really is relaxing and freeing and that makes me happy.

5. Sports are freakin' crazy. I'm not a huge sport fan but those fans and players are crazy! I do like to see some Nebraska football though in the fall but I'm not head over heals in love with sports.

6. I miss being young and innocent...and drama free. Life has been crazy these past few months and I'm just exhausted. I want summer break!

7. Right now I am really hungry and SO excited it's the weekend. I am able to hang out with some really good friends tomorrow night and am seriously looking forward to it!

Friday blanks via the little things we do....

Jun 23, 2011

keep going

I've had the most trying of days but I'm not to let it get in my way. I have to keep moving forward the way I was. No matter, I need to come on top and I will. I will succeed and will keep battling my way through the days ahead of me. If I want to be happy, I have to keep chasing happiness where it is.

Last night was a fun night though. Since my dad's surgery he can't do much...or really just can't lift things over 20lb. but is moving slower and is in some pain yet. So, with that, my mom and I cooked dinner :) She made her awesome baked beans with a TON of bacon...I just kept adding it in, so there was a lot. While I cooked burgers on the grill. They were delicious of course. After that, I helped them set up their new wireless printer and I began printing random photos from my phone. I mentioned that I may have to do that every time I stop by so to keep the photo tray full! I'm so grateful to be able to do that for them. Feels good to help someone out, especially my parents, who've done SO much for me I can't even begin to make up for everything.

In other good news, tomorrow is Friday! And, I get to celebrate a friend's birthday on Saturday :) Yay for the week being almost over with. It's within reach!

Jun 16, 2011

all i can do, is all i can do

Gotta love the Suki <3

You know, I always try to stay positive about things but sometimes it really is difficult. I have to constantly remind myself that thinking lowly of any situation is not going to make things better and do I really enjoy being in the low of a place?! NO! I really don't because it's scary and annoying and just, things don't feel good and not right. So, while I do falter, I do know that I'm doing what I can and trying to use my best judgement. I may not be super awesome at what I do or what I'm asked to do but I'm doing it.I'm trying and accomplishing what I can and that's really all I can do. I have to stay positive at this point in my life. Going down is not an option anymore. I can learn from my mistakes, own up to them and keep moving forward. I am human and I can prevail. I know this because I've done it before.

I have many things to be grateful for and lots of people who love me and care about me, whether they express it or not. I know they do.

I don't know who to thank for my strength. I guess I'm just tired of letting crap get me down to a level where I don't want to function anymore. I have to live and I will fight for that life that I want to live. Because while I may deny having a dream, I do have one. Great things are coming my way. I know this because I am creating those great things in my own way.

Bring it Universe!

Jun 14, 2011

hello Tuesday!

I am exhausted! BAH! But, that's okay because I'm having a good day today...besides the sleepiness in me. I will still be able to go home and nap over lunch and on my way back to work, I may just have to stop at Bruegger's for my favorite, Skinny Herby Turkey. YUM!

My dad's surgery went well. He didn't have as much damage going on so the surgery didn't last as long and he is now in recovery, hopefully everything is alright. I plan to visit him tonight if he is awake. I'm thankful that I live so close to the hospital.

Hope your Tuesday is lovely and are more awake than I :)

Jun 13, 2011

a new week

This new week is going to bring all sorts of new stuff and I have no idea what it is but I'm ready for it! After what I went through last week, I'm ready for anything. I don't feel like I have nothing to lose, I just feel like I can handle it. I can handle anything that comes my way. While it may be difficult or it may seem like I'm not handling it, I am. Inside. It's a constant struggle for me to stay positive with so much going on but it's the only thing I can do. Getting down and out will just make situations seem worse than they really are and could possibly bring bad luck. Being negative or lazy or down is NOT an option.

Thinking positive thoughts mostly for my dad today and for a while. He goes into surgery to get a hernia taken care of, as well as a gall bladder taken out. I hear it's not a great recovery but I know he'll be great, do great and will be better because of it. As it's not done him well the last few months or so. Here's to you dad, this blog post is for you <3 If there's anything you taught me that'll stick with me, is that, it's not worth it, stick your head up and fight/deal with it/get it over with.

<3 you dad!

Jun 7, 2011

fri...i mean tuesday fill in the blank

{photo by Teri Lyn Fisher photographer and blogger for Fish Food blog}

1. I love music because without it, I don't know how I would get through my day. It helps keep me moving during certain moments in the day when I just can't stand it and time moves so slow.

2. A time that mama knew best was when I would overreact over such silly things. She'd help me see the bigger picture and learn to let go.

3. My first kiss went a little like this oh boy. It was in front of all of my friends at a party! No one was paying attention and it just sort of happened. I remember it was not...very good. LOL!

4. My celebrity crush is I kind of have a few :) but I'd have to say Jake Gyllenhaal. However, crush as in talent (oh, Jake has talent but I'm thinking of ones I admire mostly) would be Sam Rockwell, Jeff Bridges and Daniel Day-Lewis. While older and sometimes not always attractive, I definitely crush on their talent.

5. My splurge of choice is Red Bull or Starbucks, it's sort of a toss up these days.

6. My biggest accomplishment is how successful I've been. I would've never guessed but I just keep moving and it's gotten me to much better places than I've been before and I'm very grateful for every step of the way and where I am at today. Thank you Universe!

7. My dance jam of choice is Jennifer Lopez's "On the Dancefloor"! I never thought I'd say one of her songs but I am loving that song and it's a new Jazzercise routine as well! <3 it.

Friday blanks via the little things we do....

Jun 6, 2011


Mondays...usually are kind of "blah" but today, I feel different. I feel positive about the week. I'm busy at work, which I am grateful for. I'd rather be busy than not and be happy that I have a job to do, one that I can keep. I did a TON of laundry yesterday...well, maybe not a "TON" but I did a lot, more than I usually do in one day. I plan to put it all away tonight! This week has been "project clothes". We are to wash and put away ALL of our clothes. If we get done early, moving on to the office area because it's a mess! That is really where the mess lies in our apartment and it's out in the open (GASP!).

I'd love to at least have one grill over this summer with friends and have a nice, clean, put-away apartment to show off. Wish me luck! ...also, have any tips for keeping on top of a clean living space? I'm horribly lazy and I'd hate to finish it all and not keep it up.

Jun 5, 2011

great weekend

This weekend was packed, it was a goodie. Although, this been a hard one. I think mostly because it was hot out and I didn't get to buy the shoes I wanted :(

...LOL. Besides that, yesterday, we supported the brand new Red Mango opening along with a skateboarding competition my good friend sponsored. We brought the dogs, they loved it. We also walked the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian bridge, which I hadn't walked before yet. It's fairly new.

The photo above is of the 1lb. (!) salmon we cooked for dinner last night with an awesome glaze we made up on the fly. I believe it has sriracha, soy, hoison sauce and garlic with a bit of lemon juice and the lemons cut around the side. It was delicious and A LOT of food :)

Hope yours was as eventful and fun...especially with yummy foods.

May 31, 2011

fill in the blank...tuesday?

Eh...why not?!

1. If I could get away somewhere for the weekend I would go somewhere warm, anywhere warm with a beach and a book and I would bring my boyfriend and my family, however, I'd send my family to another area of the beach and we'd meet up only for dinner...or breakfast :) I'd want the quiet and relaxation.

2. Something I often rant about is how lazy I am! I am even annoyed by those rants but that's usually what is coming out of my mouth.

3. One item I need to have in my fridge at all time is ...oh noes, should I even say?! Red Bull, I love it. Runner up would probably be skim milk.

4. My "life-saving" product is my laptop. It's how I do get my job done and how I keep up with everything I need to keep up with. Mostly anything related to web design and bloggers that inspire me.

5. A friend is someone who listens and says they understands...even if they don't.

6. If I could write my own blank it would be "When I'm alone and have no priorities to take care of, I like to unwind by..."

7. My favorite kind of art is modern. I love simple, clean lines.

"Friday" blanks via the little things we do....

May 30, 2011

a lounging day

An old photo but a good one :) Hard to get away with it when you're stuck in your crate. I took this within seconds of walking in the room. My little Eddie, can't get enough of him!

On with Memorial Day, I may not have been invited out to any outings or BBQs but I did get to sleep a lot and be lazy. I'm OK with that. Today, we plan to go out to the bookstore and read away. One of my favorite things to do, get lost in a book and I've been more motivated to read lately. I'm not sure why but it's gotten easier. Hope your Memorial Day was a good one and since I didn't get any BBQ/friends, I hope you did because it's always a good time. Happy day off :)

May 29, 2011

a third birthday

My niece turned three today. So cute. Full of spunk and innocence (sort of). It makes me miss getting presents like that and being so excited. Half the time though she was so distracted and would just throw gifts over her shoulder, just to empty the box/bag.

Happy 3rd Apple!

May 27, 2011

it's a great friday

"to change our lives, at some point we have to decide that, rather than suffer anymore, we are going to live in happiness. and the only way we can do that is to make the decision to look for things to appreciate, no matter what."

I got that quote from The Secret. If you've never heard of it, or read the book yet, I recommend it. It's a bit repetitive but so are the reminders we need in life to get by somedays. We forget that life isn't as difficult as "we make" it out to be.

Today is a good day. We're having a grill out/potluck today at work and I can already smell the grill. Also, it's Memorial Day weekend, so I have Monday off of work. One extra day to get my beauty rest! Gonna be so nice.

May 26, 2011

so yummy

I don't think I've ever bought or eaten black grapes before but man, they are SO good. Not as tart as purple or green. They're more light and refreshing. Only problem is, they're crazy expensive. I can't remember how much I bought, couldn't have been much more than a pound and they were upwards of $5. Why are grapes so expensive?!

Do yourself a favor and enjoy these at one point in your life though, they're a treat. Mmmmmm...

May 20, 2011

fill in the blank friday

1. People always tell me I look like...I'm upset. That's just my natural face. Meh :)

2. Friends don't let negative. If there is one thing I enjoy about having friends, it is knowing that they care about you and will help cheer you up if you're ever in a bad mood.

3. A sunny day is perfect for...walking my dogs with my boyfriend. Perfect!

4. My favorite accessory ring my mom bought me just not long ago. It's a designer ring and was semi-expensive. I love it. It's super unique.

5. If I could afford it I would...quit my job, buy a house and travel!

6. The cure for boredom is...reading a good book and getting lost in it.

7. I am currently "in like" Dodo iPad case! I just got it today and it's a designer case. I am really more than "in like" with it.

Friday blanks via the little things we do....

friday! yah!

{ -- photo of douche bag deleted -- }

I love Fridays. I love looking forward to sleeping in on the weekends. I love just relaxing. No worries. Especially on a weekend like this one, when there isn't anything that I need to get done other than stuff around the apartment and hang out with my boyfriend and puppies. Happy weekending!

May 17, 2011

she is just amazing

There is no one that supports me more than my mom (well, maybe my dad...but my mom is more forgiving). She is and has been such an amazing person in my life. I honestly don't know where I'd be without her. I never forget what she does for me and love her with all of my being. I love you mom! You are an amazing person and you mean everything to me.

May 16, 2011

nothing is better than being home

While I am still moving in to my new apartment after being there for over a month. There is NOTHING better than being home. Home is definitely where the heart is and I am grateful for having a roof over my head and my own bed to sleep in. Even better, my puppies are there :)

May 13, 2011

dads, they're kinda awesome

My dad took this photo. I love this photo and I love my dad. He is truly an amazing person in my life right now. I can't thank him enough for everything he's done for me. Dad, I know we don't always see eye to eye but I admire who you are and appreciate all your patience and forgiveness. I <3 you dad, always.

May 11, 2011

my little eddie boy

He is definitely a little light in my life. A seriously bright little light. Eddie is a trouble maker, he is so full of energy and cuteness, I can't stand it. Now, with Eddie in my life, I couldn't imagine it without him. I just want to eat him up! RAWR Eddie, RAWR!

May 10, 2011

of all the days

{ -- photo of douche bag deleted --}

I started this blog today because I'm tired of feeling depressed. I suffer from both anxiety and's exhausting battling myself everyday so I want to work on being grateful for something, at least one thing, and post it here once a day. Short or long, I'll take five minutes out of my day to say thanks for the good things in my life because there is a lot and I need to stop taking them for granted. I feel as though it'll be a good practice.

However, of all days, this morning my dad went into the ER this morning and I still have no idea what's going on. BUT, this is not that sort of blog.

Last night, was our first summer night and it definitely hit all of us but the highlight of my night was of my boyfriend, Danny, and my Shiba Inu, Suki, passing out together on the floor. Making me smile at the moment.